Reason Awakens
by EntrancedCat
Summary: Tiffany Blum-Deckler finds her place in the world with Daria's help. A piece of fluff from an Iron Chef challenged presented by TheBroadsterBoy on ppmb.


**REASON AWAKENS**

In the short history of the Fashion Club at Lawndale High many teenage boys had marveled at the shortness of chief accessory officer Tiffany Blum-Deckler's mini-skirts even as many teenage girls whispered behind her back about the length of leg Tiffany was disposed to expose to assay the limits of Lawndale's lax dress code.

Until one fateful day in Tiffany's junior year no one had done anything about this fascination. The one brave senior resolved to take charge of her life and act on her own pent up desire.

The two weeks before graduation did not lessen the desire for a change to the humdrum tedium of Lawndale existence. She admitted to herself, a desire for change and a greater yen for a pair of trim honey-brown legs as their owner bent over the drinking fountain.

Years later witnesses would reflect on which detail was the most startling of what said senior did: place a firm hand on Tiffany Blum-Deckler's shoulder, spin her around and plant a long, passionate kiss on the Asian girl's bee-stung lips or the shocked look the formerly stoic, unemotional senior's face assumed as she broke the kiss and Tiffany moved in without hesitation for an encore.

FLASH!

"Dammit Jane," Daria blinked and turned toward the camera her best friend had just operated to capture the lip lock for all posterity or at least possible material to extort a pizza.

Tiffany blinked too, looking deeply into Daria's gold-speckled hazel eyes.

"Did we have our fiffffth date already?" Tiffany drawled. "I don't rememmmber."

"Yummm," Tiffany hummed in a tone so liquid that Daria went liquid and blushed.

Tiffany licked a drop of Daria's slaver from her upper lip and continued, "I don't think I care."

Tiffany pulled Daria in for another smooch one hand expertly cupping Daria's skirt and cause Daria's back to arch.

FLASH! FLASH!

"Jane!" Daria threatened with the little breath she had left when she and Tiffany allowed the kiss to linger and dissipate and linger as they finally pulled apart.

Daria proposed to Tiffany that their first date involved Jane's demise and disposal of Jane and photographic materials.

"It's okay, Daria." Jane smirked happily at them both. "Someday you'll want these shots for a memento. Now though, these will convince my idiot brother that I am not the object of your Sapphic seeking."

By then the shock slightly wore off assembled groups of students. They applauded and more than a few boys whistled and called for an encore. A few girls cursed themselves that they had lost their chance to move in on the short-skirted seemingly unattainable Clubby.

"I...I have to get to class," Daria stammered and turned from the applause to bury her face in Tiffany's lavender clad shoulder.

Daria said with some non sequitur, "O'Neill is teaching about Thomas Jefferson, statesman, inventor, philosopher. I actually want to hear it."

"I lovvvve philosophy," Tiffany intoned. She locked hands with Daria and pulled the mortified senior down the hall to O'Neill's room followed by a thoroughly happy, smirking Jane.

O'Neill fumbled particularly hard with his seating chart that period as he tried to reconcile having one more desk than he was accustomed to taken up. He gave up then satisfying himself with the notion that his teaching and lectures were beginning to pack them in.

**DM TBD DM TBD DM TBD DM TDB DM TDB**

**TWELVE YEARS PASS**

"And sooo," Doctor Philosophiae Tiffany Blum-Deckler-Morgendorffer protracted. "We can see thaaat Hummmme's is-ought conundruummm brought about a needed revival of both morrral and aesthetic thought anddd speculation. Okkkayyy, class, next assssignment due in one week is fifteen-hunnnndred words on the relation of Hume's thought to aesthetic philosophy past and pressssent."

Doctor Morgendorffer looked up at her assembled undergraduates snoozing away in the tiered small auditorium. She noted with some satisfaction that many had made more than the usual few lines of notes before giving into slumber.

She gathered up her notes quietly not wanting to rouse her charges from their after lunch naps then turned her head up to regard an older man with a wide high forehead surmounted by hair almost as black as her own making his way down the aisle to her lectern.

"Doctor Austin," She acknowledged the chair of her department.

"John, please, Tiffany," The Brit smiled at her. "Please, we are colleagues and I have happy news for you and your wife: the trustees along with the department of philosophy are honored to extend to you the position of White's Chair of Moral Philosophy here at the University of Oxford."

He produced an official looking document to hand to Tiffany. She smiled and took the paper.

"Still keeping 'em mesmerized and alert, I see, Tiff." The two Doctors Philosophiae looked up to see a very pregnant Daria Blum-Deckler-Morgendorffer standing at the top tier and looking around the classroom.

Tiffany was about to start up to greet her spouse when Chairman Austin stopped her.

"Please, let's go up together to meet your charming wife. And I would love to have dinner tonight with you both in the faculty club."

"Congratulations, Tiffany," Daria smiled shyly and linked her hand with her spouse's. "John told me about the appointment this morning."

"And congratulations to you, Daria." Doctor Austin said. "I must confess Ian Fleming, is how you Yanks say, a guilty pleasure of mine but I dare say Melody Powers would give our Agent Bond a run for his money."

"And perhaps a roll in the hay for them both as they're on the same side essentially," Daria smirked. "Don't tell anyone but my agent is in contact with the Fleming estate for a possible crossover movie."

"I've double-checked," Austin continued. "Our official banquet to welcome our new Chair of Moral Philosophy will not conflict with your trip to Hollywood to accept the Academy Award for screenplay."

The gravid Daria leaned on Tiffany's arm before responding. "I'm a long-shot, a dark horse at best but I dare say, as you Brits say, our old schoolmate, Brittany Taylor will take home a statue for the title role in _Melody Powers and the Rise of the Orange Menace."_

"Although I never quite pictured Melody as quite so blonde," Daria concluded.

The department chair and newly chaired faculty member's attention was drawn to a loud, gurgling snore coming from the back row middle. Tiffany sighed and said without pause, "_El sueño de la razón produce monstruos."_

"Goya," Daria said. "Jane would be so proud of me for recognizing that."

**AN: Tiffany's department head, John Austin is an allusion to philosopher J. L. Austin who did hold White's Chair of Moral Philosophy at the University of Oxford. **


End file.
